The Things You Learn Undercover
by pelori
Summary: Response to prompt: KF & Robin are on an undercover mission. The bad guys start suspecting them. KF thinks that they're totally doomed, but Robin just responds in perfect, effortless, sexy-as-hell french.


**A/N**: Okay, so this was in a response to a prompt on YJ Anon Meme on Livejournal. The prompt was "KF and Robin are on an undercover mission. The bad guys start suspecting that they're not who they say they are and try to call their bluff by asking them a question in french (pretend they're like, drug dealers from France or something). KF thinks that they're totally doomed, but Robin just responds in perfect, effortless, sexy-as-hell french."

Let me just preface all of this by saying the only French I know is what I used to navigate to and from bathrooms while in Paris. That is to say, not much. So if anything is wrong, please blame my online translator.

* * *

**The Things You Learn Undercover**

Kid Flash was pretty sure the Justice League never had to deal with this. Two very buff looking men in suits and sunglasses stood in front of him and Robin, blocking their path. Oh, and each one had a very large gun pointed at their heads.

And why didn't his Uncle Barry and the Justice League have to deal with this? Because they weren't a covert team. They were the ones KF and Robin were supposed to call for backup as soon as they had the information they needed. And likely wouldn't get. Because he and his best friend were a little preoccupied with the shiny weapons inches from their foreheads.

"I am always willing to pursue good business, _commet dite-vous_, opportunities," a blonde man with an outrageously gaudy suit sleazed his way to stand behind the hulking bodyguards and their weapons, so he could better address the two undercover super heroes, "but you understand my need for caution, _oui?"_

Oh, Wally understood the need for caution. He and Rob were treading some shaky ground here. Batman had sent the two of them in as contacts for a potentially disastrous arms deal between a man known as Louis Glissant, famous for two things: being one of the savviest multi-million dollar black market deal men, and never being around capture during the actual deal. And yet here he was. With goons. And guns. And in order to figure out where the goods were coming from, Kid Flash and Robin were stuck as Alphonse and Gabriel, the French sons of the men with whom Louis had been making a deal. Which means using Kid Flash and Robin moves to escape their predicament was out of the question. They either took these guys down now and missed the opportunity to gather value information for the League, thus failing the mission, or they maintained their cover, convincing Louis to have his goons lower their weapons through the good old fashioned power of negotiation. They were doomed.

"And how is shoving weapons in our face being cautious?" Robin questioned Louis's earlier comment.

"You see, _mon_ _jeune ami_, I am not sure that you are who you say you are, _Ga-bri-el_," Louis drew out the pronunciation of Robin's alias, wagging his finger with each syllable. "I did not even know that dear Jean-Pierre had a son, and yet here you are, ready to do his work for him. _Je ne crois pas, _Ga-bri-el. And it is _trés _convenient that your little redheaded friend here—"

Robin began to protest.

"Oh, that's right. Louis continued, noting Robin's grumbling. He's your _cousin. Bien sûr. _Are you even French?"

Glissant poked one of his perfectly manicured fingers in Kid Flash's face. Wally never thought there would come a time in his life that he would want to claim citizenship to a country that he spent most of his time in his history class ridiculing.

Robin practically growled.

And then bit out what was surely an acerbic retort.

Of course, Wally wasn't exactly sure, because what Robin said had not been _in English. _

_ "Vous osez demander qui je suis? Pour qui je travaille?" _

Wally tried hard not to let his jaw hit the floor. After all, Robin—Gabriel—was supposed to be his cousin. From France. So of course he spoke French. Wally was just surprised that _Robin _spoke French.

"_Vous pensez que votre partenaire d'affaires, mon père, n'a pas mis en place des procédures de sécurité de certains de ses propres?"_

And with what sounded like a perfect accent. And an angry looking sneer. In whatever language, Robin was clearly skilled in pulling off spoiled little rich kid.

"_Vous pourrez réduire ces armes maintenant, Louis Glissant, ou vous verrez exactement pourquoi mon père est appelé le Fléau de Gotham. Il ya actuellement un sous-marin au large des côtes avec toutes les armes disponibles verrouillé sur ce bâtiment et l'entrepôt adjacent."_

Wally had no idea what Robin was saying, but it was clearly doing the trick, as Glissant no longer looked quite so confident. Or snarky.

"_A mon commandement, chaque pièce de la cargaison, chaque bit de marchandises que vous possédez sera soufflé en mille morceaux." _

He tried to calm himself. Don't look so surprised. Look like he understood exactly what was happening. But _damn_, wasn't that rapid fire foreign language beat-down impressive? Wally quickly decided that when this was all over, he needed to know exactly how many language Robin spoke, and then make him use them. All. The. Time. Cause _damn. _

"_Bien sûr, d'ici là, les autorités auraient déjà été appelé, et mon cousin et je serai en toute sécurité en garde à vue."_

Wally decided right then and there that it didn't matter who was speaking it, boy or girl, angry French was _hot_. He should totally get Rob to teach him some when they got back. So he could use it on girls. Totally just to help him score. Yeah. Cause it's not like he would just want to listen to Rob's voice for hours on end. And damn it all if _that_ thought didn't just have him start thinking about what happy Robin sounded like in French. Or sad Robin in Italian. Or snarky Robin in Russian. The possibilities were endless.

"_Le choix est le vôtre. Choisissez de faire confiance à ce que nous sommes qui nous disent que nous sommes, ou risquer votre carrière. Oh, et votre vie."_

Well, whatever Rob said, it worked, because the two goons glanced nervously at their stunned boss, who nodded quickly, acknowledging that they could lower their weapons.

"_Eh bien…_" Louis stuttered, "of course I was just testing, testing. Haha. Your father should know my sense of humor by now, surely neither of you are offended, _oui?" _The greasy businessman suddenly looked very expectantly at the two of them.

Robin gently nudged him.

"Oh, of-f course not…" Wally added in. it wouldn't do for him to remain silent the whole time. Even if he kind of wanted to just to get Robin to talk more. Preferably in that incredible accent again. Which made him wonder if Rob could put on a French accent while speaking English… When a shiver went down his spine, Wally told himself it was just because he was so relieved not to have his cover questioned anymore. Nothing to do with what his best friend might sound like with a foreign accent.

"Well then, if you will follow me, we will make the exchange right over here…"

Kid Flash tuned out the rest of Louis's attempt to smooth over the altercation that had just taken place. After all, why listen to some pompous French man when he could relive in his mind the smack down his best friend had just delivered on the baddie. Wally was used to Robin being a total BAMF with the batarangs and the motion sensor hacking. He'd even suspected the kid to be able to hold his own in a verbal spar. After all, he lived with the goddamn Batman. With that man, even words could be sharpened to a fine point and used as weapons to decimate your enemies. The speedster had just never seen his best friend use this skill. Nor use it by way of another totally awesome talent Wally never knew his friend possessed. And if he didn't have to think about the pleasant row of goose bumps it sent down his arms and legs to hear this hidden talent, well that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy the sensation he wouldn't admit to having.

And suddenly Wally West was glad the Justice League didn't have to deal with this. Because after this mission, he would take undercover ops with Robin any day, _especially_ if they happened to involve foreign languages.

* * *

**A translation of Robin's rant to Louis:**

You dare to question who I am? Who I work for? You think that your business partner, my FATHER, did not set in place certain security procedures of his own? You WILL lower those weapons now, Louis Glissant, or you will see EXACTLY why my father is called the Scourge of Gotham. There is a submarine currently off the coast with every available weapon locked onto this building and the adjacent warehouse. At my command, every piece of cargo, every bit of merchandise you own will be blown to smithereens. Of course by that point, the authorities would already have been called, and my cousin and I will be safely in police custody. The choice is yours. Choose to trust that we are who we say we are, or risk your entire career. Oh, and your life.

**A/N: **I really liked the idea of this prompt, but in the end it didn't come out quite like I wanted it to. If someone wants to pick it up and make a part 2, they are more than welcome to do so. Though now, however, I really wish I had time to do a second part where Robin is all, KF, y u keep making me speak french?!


End file.
